Something’s on my mind and I just can’t shake it,
I need some time and I want some space,
gotta get away from the human race…
— Grandmaster Flash: New York New York

Way back when, they used to berate us for having kids. You know… the Zero Population Growth, one kid or none crowd. If everybody did it, the population bomb would not have to go off. They lied. The people who did as they said are eliminating themselves from the gene pool. And the population bomb is blowing a bit of the planet up every day, species by species by species. Diversity of life going up in smoke.

Oh I know… they assure us that the “rate of population growth” has gone down. It has. But that hasn’t defused the bomb. There was a time a couple decades back when we were being lulled to sleep by assurances that by mid-21st century, population will level off and begin to decline. Nothing to worry about, right?

They are not saying that any more. The latest prognostications have been going up, 9-10 billion in 2050, 12 billion by 2100, and going up. I have looked upon this for some time as a farce… not for the planet, of course, but as one of the farcical stories unfolding among the more educated yet easily fooled humans. First, it was don’t worry, be happy. Now, the preoccupation is how we’ll feed the locust hordes. When will it be about how not to be locusts? When will farmers be asked to underproduce for humans, and give back to the soil and fellow critters? Never.

By the way, let’s pause for a moment. The august UN population agency tells us that we’ll reach 9.2 billion (that was in 2007, updated to 9.8 in 2017) in 2050. Really? We went 7 billion in the fall of 2011. That’s 6 and a half years ago. It took us only 6 and a half years to bloat another half a billion. The birth rate is not declining but holding steady. That would mean 8 billion in around, oh, let’s be a tad conservative and say 7 years. 2025. And let’s be equally conservative and add another billion in 15 years. That’s 10 billion in 2040. Are we being bullshitted? Why not? It worked to silence Paul Ehrlich

Because population has been, since the first Paleolithic aggrandizer takeover, a political question. Human elites always strive to grow their domesticated serf herds. More work, more food, more people. More people, more tools, inventions, slaves. More weapons, power, wealth, status for some. More work done, more food, more people. And so the seasons turn turn turn.

When people in the richer countries obliged the ZPG and stopped breeding like rabbi… er, domesticated animals, the elites began to berate them and started importing folks from countries where people were still cranking out babies like there was no tomorrow. In Europe, they are still berating them, and claiming that they need to grow their demographics despite the fact that huge numbers of their young people are unemployed with no prospects, robots are taking human jobs, and the Earth groans under the weight of the human mass. Japan is a notable exception, apparently assuming that fewer people on those crowded islands is not a bad thing at all. They have always marched to their own drummer.

The frog. Is it boiled yet? A friend of childbearing age and I are talking Ishmael. On one hand, the planet needs less of us. Less of us in numbers, less of us in human mass (yeah, fat shaming, baby!). On the other hand, both she and I love the culture we come from; we don’t look gladly toward the day when the language, history, culture, and genes of our motherland will blink out and go dark. Once a culture having risen like a phoenix from the ashes of imminent germanization, the Czechs seem poised to be overrun by other peoples from all sorts of other places because they are losing the demographic war.

So what do I tell her? She wants three children. My youngest cousin has four. I used to be counted among those preaching replacement or less. I am no longer. How does one square the circle? Do you value your home, your cultural inheritance passed to you in trust by countless generations, your kin? Have babies. Without them, there is no future for what you love. But what about the love of the Earth, love of Gaia?

Gaia will take care of Gaia. Humans blather, but haven’t got it in them to self-regulate our population. No species does. Effective regulation of population evolved by nature involves cycles of feedback due to predation. We have eliminated our large animal predators. What remains? Microorganisms and psychopaths. And those are the tools Mother Nature will use for the Big Cull. Psychopaths, rising in numbers along with the burgeoning population, will scheme ever more conflict and mayhem, and the tiny critters — whose evolution toward greater potency we have enabled by waging antibiotic wars on them — these microorganisms will keep trying for another global plague until they succeed. Of course, they adore increasingly crowded conditions — all the better to leap from host to host.

Reading Scott’s Against the Grain made my last square peg fall into its round hole. Humans have become a demographic plague on the planet because they have become too tame and too stress tolerant of the wrong kind of stress — overcrowding, sedentariness, monodiets of crap foods made for “human cattle,” boredom and anomie. It fucks up our hormones and neurochemicals, just like it fucked up the hormones and neurochemicals of the tame Russian foxes who started going into heat twice a year, whining, begging and wagging their tails. Selecting for docility and tolerance of the intolerable makes for domesticated humans. It makes us sheeple — even our brains, like the brains of domestic sheep, have shrunk. All domesticated critters are overbreeders because they have been selectively bred to be overbreeders. We are one of them.

The future that today’s babies will be meeting face to face won’t be like our present. Teach them to be smart and resourceful and resilient in a variety of situations. Mix in a hefty dose of practical skills into their education. Gift them strong immune systems, and pass on the knack to maintain these via fresh foods and hardy lifestyles fit for real human beings. Help them find highly capable and good-hearted but wily, wild-at-heart mates to have their own babies with. Teach them to recognize and foil those who would rather weed out all wildness, courage and spunk out of us, to control and manipulate us all the better. Begin in earnest to re-member lifeways fit for Homo sapiens to bequeath them. Weave for them stories and songs full of meaning that will buttress their psychological and spiritual health. Guide them to be brave, adventurous, fierce and strong, and to defend what they love.

Teach your children well.

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